What if Business School Reflected Reality?
Laptop Battery Since Fall is back to school
time, we thought weÆd
present
some courses that should be taught in business school.
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Thinkpad By Brian Hill and Dee Power
copyright 2003
When you buy a business laptop, you are investing in something that will enable you to work faster, win more jobs, ordinate your projects. So it's important that our business laptops are reliable, powerful, Our business is the success of your business. We offer great deals on HP business laptops, Toshiba business laptops, Siemens business laptops, and Sony business laptops just to name a few. We also have a great range of laptop cases, port replicators, docking stations, and supporting software for your new mobile computer.
Microsoft Management 501 -- The Theory and Practice of Working With
Obnoxious People.
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Laptop Computers Learn the personality types to watch out for when you take
a
new jobùThe Blowhard, the Backstabber, the Lech and the
Liar.
Study effective coping strategies that, for the most part,
do
not involve bloodshed.
According to the indictment, Jones would steal various IBM and Penguin computer servers from Verisign's warehouse in Virginia and sell them to Johnson. Johnson would then sell the servers to several individuals, who would sometimes place them for sale on eBay. As a result of this scheme, the indictment alleges that Jones and Johnson caused Verisign to lose more than $120, 000 worth of computer equipment. In the indictment, Jones and Johnson are charged in three counts with causing the interstate transportation of stolen property, namely IBM 330 and 335 servers, in violation of 18 U.S.C.
Laptop Computer Macroeconomics 2004 -- Taking Credit for An Improving
Economy.
And then, of course, we have the Standalone Server product, which is called Acronis True Image Server for Windows or Linux and that will manage a single standalone server. What type of computers can we back up, because in a medium to a large sized, even some small sized businesses, who knows what kind of computers they have They may have laptops, they may have desktops, they may just have anything and everything
Desktop Computer Analyze the advanced techniques by incumbents to make
certain
the national economy peaks in time for the November
elections.
How fiscal & monetary policy are used to moderate the
business
cycle. And learn how pigs fly.
Notebooks Accounting 501 -- Tax Camp For Freshman.
Lenovo Students visit lovely Camp Ficafuta where they have an
immersive two-week experience in learning how to fill out
the
250 or so tax forms now required of all small businesses.
Hard Drive Management 123 -- Coping With the Clueless.
Travelstar Learn to work cooperatively with mentally challenges
colleagues.
How to conduct an entire conversation with one syllable
words.
Recognize the signs of eyes glazing over in a meeting. How
to
communicate with hand signals when necessary. Finding out
that
you donÆt need orange hair and floppy shoes to be a Bozo.
Gateway Marketing Lab 101 -- The Theory and Practice of Being
Rejected
in Sales.
Laptop Parts Eager young stock broker trainees are plunged into the world
of
cold calling. The lab meets from 2:00-4:00 each Thursday, or
until
half the class in tears. Students are required to bring Prozac
and
at least one change of underwear. This is well known as the
toughest
elective class available. Prof. M. Ditka.
Software Management 8:45 Fundamentals of Overtime.
Hard Drives Dr. S. Legree. Students learn how to apologize to their
spouse
for missing dinner four nights in a row. How to concentrate
on
their computer while the night crew is running the vacuum. How
to
determine which convenience stores are safe to shop at after
midnight.
Electronics Business Law 101 -- Lawyers are People,
Too.
Canon Aspiring entrepreneurs learn the subtle differences between a
$200
an hour lawyer and a $500 one. Why female attorneys donÆt
wear
make-up. The meaning of the secret handshake your lawyer
gives
the opposing one before a meeting. Why a lawyerÆs office is
always
nicer than yours.
Desktop Pc Real Estate 501 -- Obtaining a Bank
Loan to Start Your Business.
Desktop Computers This is taught by the real estate department because if you
donÆt
put up your house as collateral, you ainÆt getting no loan
buddy.
Think Pad Finance 555 -- How to Be a Venture
Capitalist.
Repair Young financiers learn the art of printing out large numbers
of
form letter rejections from their laptops while they are at a
two
-hour lunch. Methods of recycling old, unread business plans
into festive holiday packing material. Choosing a secretary
who
can say, "IÆm sorry, heÆs in a meeting." 256 times a day and
still sound marginally convincing.
Data Recovery Finance 50210 -- The Art of Appearing Rich On a Limited
Budget.
Cisco How to lease a Lexus one evening at a time. Shopping the
Stafford
College at J.C. Penney. Painting Platinum enamel over your
starter
American Express Card. Ordering wine for your boss in a
restaurant
without puzzling over how long it takes the French guy to get
the
screw-top off the bottle.
Keyboard Finance 459 -- Fantasy
Financial
Forecasting.
Monitor Baby budgeters learn the similarities between a planning
session
and a Mad HatterÆs Tea Party. How choosing a fancy
spreadsheet
software program can add credibility to even the most
ridiculous
numbers. Why the hockey stick approach nearly always works.
****************************
Dee Power and Brian Hill are authors of
the novel "Overtime," 2003
http://www.OvertimeTheNovel.com
"Attracting Capital From Angels," 2002
http://www.AttractingCapitalFromAngels.com
and "Inside Secrets To Venture Capital" 2001
John Wiley & Sons 2001,
http://www.InsideSecretsToVentureCapital.com
available in bookstores nationwide
amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, borders.com
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