When thinking about my patients, I've noticed a pattern to the marital conflicts that they share. Here's my list of the top ten things that put your marriage at higher risk for break-up and the things you must do to strengthen it.
1) Putting-Down Spouse's Friends/Family
Don't badmouth your spouse or her/his friends, family or associates. Spouses need to know you appreciate their world outside of you. Rather, compliment her friends and family.
2) Not Using Good Listening Skills
This includes indulging pre-occupation, avoiding eye contact, looking somewhere else as the conversation unfolds etc. Rather, use good eye contact, wait 'til your spouse finishes talking and concentrate so much on what s/he is saying that you paraphrase it to demonstrate you REALLY listened.
3) Lack of Sexual Interplay
This is a very ominous sign in marriage. If your partner has complaints that prevent him/her from wanting to engage you sexually, get help. Seek medical and/or psychological counseling, if necessary. Men, don't get hung-up on wanting SEX-SEXUAL INTERCOURSE all the time. Be able to frequently engage your partner slowly and tenderly in a SENSUAL fashion without SEX. Don't worry, your penis won't explode because of pent-up semen. Don't leave your partner clueless as to why you aren't interested in sex.
4) Always Having the Last Word or Need to be Right
This includes lecturing, criticizing and over-correcting your partner. Narcissists are HARD to love! Occasionally, admit that you made a mistake, don't know or compliment your partner as having made a "good point" (and leave it at that). Please be concise. Don't answer every question with a lecture on the topic.
5) Not Following-Thru
Actions do speak louder than words. Be reliable and trustworthy. When you commit yourself to doing something, do it. This builds the trust necessary to maintain a close relationship. Trust involves everyday things, not just fidelity.
6) Inconsiderate Teasing
Believe your spouse if s/he says that your teasing was hurtful or a put down. Don't give a lecture about why that wasn't correct. Just stop it. Ask yourself what s/he would find complimentary and say that instead. If you just LISTEN to your spouse you can learn alot.
7) Deceit, Lies and Falsehoods
Having lies and secrets creates distance and serious suspicions in your mate. This leads to lack of trust and robs your relationship of the fuel it needs to keep going. Swallow, bite the bullet, be considerate and be honest .
8) Being Juvenile
When you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy, it's immature and VERY wearing on a spouse. Find better ways to get attention and use healthy communication techniques to communicate your gripes.
9) Explosive Anger
You must handle conflict constructively EVEN if your spouse doesn't. Having angry outbursts always makes you the loser, even if you ARE right. That's called being "self-defeating."
Laptop Battery Copyright, Shery, 2006
According to the indictment, Jones would steal various IBM and Penguin computer servers from Verisign's warehouse in Virginia and sell them to Johnson. Johnson would then sell the servers to several individuals, who would sometimes place them for sale on eBay. As a result of this scheme, the indictment alleges that Jones and Johnson caused Verisign to lose more than $120, 000 worth of computer equipment. In the indictment, Jones and Johnson are charged in three counts with causing the interstate transportation of stolen property, namely IBM 330 and 335 servers, in violation of 18 U.S.C.
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Laptop Computers Dr Shery is in Cary, Illinois, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo and Lake-in-the-Hills. He's a marriage counselor and psychologist who treats depression and anxiety. Make an appt or get his FREE newsletter at: http://www.nextdayappointment.com
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Laptop Computer
laptop computers is driving strong sales for notebook computers, according to the latest quarterly sales figures from the research firm IDC, which reported a 37% computer sales for the second quarter, compared with a year earlier. In the U.S., laptop sales grew 17.7%, while sales of desktop computers and servers fell 4%. The New York Times ( 10), CNET ( 10)
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